A True Toy Story

Whimsical Tarot

This music must be played, as it's relevant to the topic for a certain generation of BBCRadio 1 listeners:






Most children have one, I think - a lovey, I've heard it called: some stuffed toy, usually an animal of some sort, that has been a loyal and loved companion since birth or very soon after.

Destructo Boy has three: 2 stuffed dogs, the first one given him before birth by Belo; the 2nd is exactly the same - I found it in a tub in Woolworths by joyful accident and bought it immediately as a possible replacement in case the worst happened to dog #1. Nothing special, not expensive.

The third is a teddy bear from Laura Ashley - and it was not cheap; I bought it for him when he was about 5 or 6 years old on his express promise that he would love it and care for it forever.


Here are the boys:

As you can see, some have worn better than others. Here is Toby, the youngest:

And here is Barney:

And here is poor Arnie, firstest and bestest and mostest loved of all:

Barney was never an acceptable substitute for Arnie - there was some undefinable difference that no-one else could see except Destructo Boy. Perhaps his ears didn't rub as smoothly and as satisfyingly between the fingers. Perhaps his stuffing didn't roll as it should through the hands. Perhaps one eye was a micron more to the left. Whatever it was doesn't really matter - what matters is that he was Not The Same.

When he got up in the morning, Destructo Boy would often tuck the boys back in before he left for school. When I went in to check on him before bed, he would always have all three in bed with him, Arnie and Barney usually draped across his neck.

Suddenly I would find the boys at the end of the bed, not tucked in and at risk of falling to the floor.

Then they were down the side of the bed amongst the random detritus and dust of an active boy.

Then one day I couldn't find them. They were buried under a pile of rugby clothes. Dirty, muddy rugby clothes.

When questioned, Destructo Boy announced baldly he was too old for them now and had no need of them.

Friend, I removed them to the safe haven of a shelf in my bedroom, and I wept.

Stiffen the Sinews

Halloween Tarot

Congratulations, Titch - we made it through another year. Bear Grylls and the Island would totally be a breeze for us.

uncredited as I cannot find the source or creator of this image

It takes a certain very warped specialized skillset to find versions like the one below. You're welcome.

Signs of Age #1

So Friday being Big Housework Day, I tend to turn up the music quite loud, as it energizes me. I've been listening to Heart recently when I want to be active, because it's quite a good mix of music (I think); the kids also seem to be familiar with quite a lot of their playlist.

I was listening to them sing along today, and asked for clarification:

''You're spinning right round baby right round like a what did you say ?''

Mini Diva: ''Like a wrecker, Mummy''

Destructo Boy: ''Like a rhythm, Mummy''

So I explained what a ''record'' was, in this context, and was greeted with open disbelief and laughter.




And the version my kids are more familiar with:



I give you the chipmunk version because perhaps it seems a little less ...blatant ? than Flo Rida himself. How cartoon animals singing it is more OK, I can't explain.