So I was meandering aimlessly round the house today, having taken the kids to school, when I came across the Inky cat washing and preening himself. He's always up for a cuddle, so I heaved him up (he is somewhat of a porker) for a stroke - only to feel a lump on the back of his neck.Luckily I didn't assume it was a scab from playing/fighting with Jewel, but actually had a closer look; it turned out to be one of these:
I resisted the temptation to instantly hurl the poor cat off my lap as far away from me as possible, and instead placed him gently on the floor. Realizing that to run round the house without an audience shrieking nameless verbal atrocities wildly at top volume would be a waste of both energy and dramatic talent, I ran to my friend Google to check that I knew how to remove a tick: was it ticks or leeches that you burned off with a cigarette ? Would this be the perfect altruistic reason to start smoking again ? Sadly, no. But I brightened up when I read that we would need alcohol.
I collected together the things I thought I would need: 3 cups containing gin; tweezers; babywipes; Savlon. Fortunately, it wasn't Mini Diva's cat Moonheart, who has a Jekyll & Hyde character when to comes to physical contact - Inky is too plump, placid and (most un-catlike) trusting to run when I approach him purposefully and coochy-cooing in my fake baby voice reserved for just such feline emergencies as these.
Having snabbled my unsuspecting victim and pinned him to my lap, the fat furry fool lay purring like a diesel engine while I searched for the tick. Having found it again, I quickly seized it with the tweezers and gave it a firm tug - I was worried it would squish and there would be bug guts everywhere, but obviously they are pretty tough - and it came away cleanly, mouthparts and all.
I threw the tick into the first cup of gin (alcohol kills them), the tweezers into the second (to disinfect them - I've owned them for years and they are my unreplaceable best pair), and gulped down the third. I don't even want to think about if I had got those cups the wrong way round.
