Wednesday, 22 October 2014

The Cooler King

Halloween Tarot

Listen to this as you read - I promise it's relevant:

So Monday started as normal - did a little blog post about the current MKAL, ran the hoover around, 3 loads of washing as the sun was out and the tail of hurricane Gonzalo was supposed to lash us on Tuesday ... yanno, the ordinary housewifey stuff that turns my brain to mush.

Sebastian keeps me company as I do my chores, although it's normally a pretty one-sided conversation, since he doesn't consider my rhetorical questions about what to do next as worthy of an answer.

As he gets older, he grows increasingly fond of patches of sunlight that are big enough for him to lie in, and if that patch is outside, so much the better. It being a lovely sunny day, he found a warm spot on the patio and stretched out while I hung out my 2nd load of washing on the line.

I shuffled back inside to continue tottering about with a duster in one hand and a gin can of polish in the other.

The next basket of wet clothes later, I shoved the conservatory door open and squished it all on the line somehow. Looking round, Sebastian was noticeable by his absence.

My shrivelled heart beat somewhat faster as I discovered he was also not in the house.

When I saw the open side gate, I went into full adrenaline mode; I checked his usual lairs when he has got out, but they were all quiet and empty, not even a pile of poop to show he'd been by.

The internetz gave me the Council Dog Warden, although it took me longer to find as it is listed under 'Lost & Stray Dogs', and fortunately he had already been picked up and transported 20 odd miles away to the kennels the Council use for strays. I remembered how to breathe. And then I remembered how to disconnect and unplug every single technological device Destructo Boy owns, as it was he who had left the gate open, he was in so much of a hurry to get back to 'Call of Minecraft: Zombie Doom' or whatever is his current gaming obsession.

Belo and I took an adventurous drive to the backend of nowhere to retrieve Sebastian yesterday - the ladies who run the kennels were lovely; I especially did not look at or think about all the other strays there who I'd brought treats for. At all. Not one bit. No pangs at all. Sebastian was overjoyed to see us, and told us ALL. ABOUT. IT for the whole journey home.

Do you think that looks repentant ?

No, me either.

Destructo Boy is in the doghouse with the dog, and is grounded for life.


  1. Very good! I feel your pain re the Minecraft nonsense - mine is the same and he's 14. Doesn't get any less techie as they get older *sigh*

    I know that you've discounted the idea of putting a spring on the gate, so just keep the cooler at a reasonable temperature because I think Destructo is going to be in it quite a lot lol! At least Seb has had a wee vacation.

  2. Of course he looks repentant - his ears are blushing :D

  3. Oh my, I feel your pain. My dog Billie (a food-obsessed lab) knew where there were local bins where she could stuff her face with leftovers, and about once a month during the summer, would vanish. As in, I would turn my back for one second. You don't even want to know about the poop the next day.

    Have to say, Sebasitan doesn't look the slightest bit repentant. He probably thought the whole thing was a fabulous adventure. I bet he had the great escape playing the whole time in his head. I bet all dogs have that on repeat in their brains actually. Haha!

    One I clicked the video to play, a tesco ad started playing too! I couldn't see anywhere to turn it off. Audio ads on blogs send me diving for the mute button so i didn't hear most of the music :( At first it seemed like it was in the video though and was related to the housewife/brain-mush thing!


Thanks ! I love comments :-)