Friday 17 December 2010

Gin at Noon

Well, it sounds so much more acceptable and ... poetic ... than gin at 10:33 a.m, don't you think ? I've been helping someone out this week, doing some cleaning in their house, and had everything done by yesterday. It also involved having the carpets cleaned professionally. The chap did a great job, the carpets look almost new again.

Do you sense it? The forboding?

Can you see it ? Yes, that is the silhouette of trouble on the horizon.

I needed to use the vacuum cleaner to do the upstairs. In order to do that, I needed to empty the canister. The model looks something like this:

I figured it worked much like any other canister/cylinder vacuum, so I confidently detached the cylinder from the base, and then pushed the swizzly bit at the top from the 'lock' to 'unlock' position. There I stood for a couple of moments, trying to work out why the lid would not come off. It was only a couple of moments. That was because it took a couple of moments for the total filthy contents of the full cylinder to drop all over my feet - and all over the newly-cleaned and still damp carpet. A sailor would have been ashamed to use the words I used as I comprehensively cursed the (no-doubt) male designer.

Having bought a Halti for Sebastian, since my aging elbow joints in particular were complaining in a way that OTC ibuprofen couldn't pacify because of his pulling (mere untrained bad manners)

I had to return it to the store yesterday after only two days and 4 walks, as he had managed to snap both the Halti and his new lead. I'm happy to report that the customer service at Viking Aquatics was impeccable: no quibbles, an instant replacement of both items, in spite of me having lost the receipt.

Then an in-law called to tell me they were visiting today. It was someone I like, and whom we don't see at all often; so I quelled my screams and ran round like a nutter cleaning up my own house, which had been pretty much abandoned this week (see helping out someone else above) - so much so that what I thought was a new carpet was in fact a layer of Alsatian fur.

At least it wasn't mold - it's too cold right now. My mood having scared even the children into helping me, a record time later the house was again something we don't have to feel ashamed of. Which is when the in-law called to say that they weren't coming after all because of the road conditions. Then Destructo Boy knocked over his juice onto my newly-washed floor. Followed in short order by his hot chocolate.

No need for dilution. It's the reason he's still alive.


  1. Oh I hear you loud and clear! I'm in the throes of tidying up for Tertarus coming home tomorrow and it looks like it might not actually be tomorrow.

    This means that my carefully juggled tidy up will start to slide back into the chaotic way my home usually looks, at least 12 hours before the King of Tidy comes home.

    Pass the gin. Don't bother about a glass for me, pet.


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  3. A wise man once said "It's always cocktail hour somewhere in the world!".

    He then proceeded to get well and properly skunked, after which he designed a vacuum cleaner.

    Did you start reading that story liking our hero, and finish it with an altered opinion?

    Bottoms Up!

  4. We're cleaning this weekend - it's a family affair which means there will be blood, sweat and tears.


Thanks ! I love comments :-)